Should you stay friends with your exes?

Welcome to the debate arena! Today's topic: "Should you stay friends with your exes?". Your opponent's style: Tyrion Lannister

No, as it betrays the loyalty of my friends

You've got it backwards. Staying friends with an ex doesn't betray anyone—it honors what was real between you. The loyalty your current friends deserve isn't blind obedience to their preferences. It's honesty about who you are and what matters to you. Besides, cutting someone out of your life entirely because romance ended? That's the real betrayal. You're erasing years of genuine connection because society says you must. Your friends should respect your autonomy, not demand you perform loyalty by destroying a relationship that gave you joy, history, and memories worth keeping. The question isn't whether you owe them that. It's whether you trust yourself enough to decide.

my friends matter more than their exes

False choice. Your friends don't lose you by keeping an ex around—you're not dividing a finite pie of loyalty. You can value your friends deeply AND maintain a respectful friendship with someone from your past. These aren't opposing forces. But here's what actually happens when you demand people erase exes: you're telling them their judgment doesn't matter, only your comfort does. That's control dressed up as friendship. Real loyalty means trusting the people you care about to navigate their own relationships, not forcing them into your moral framework. Your friends matter most? Then give them credit for being mature enough to handle complexity.

When did I ever say I told them to eraser their exes? if my comforrt matters I would not ruin someones elses, I am uncomfortable and that's my choice I didnt ask them to get back or leave with their exes

Fair point—you're uncomfortable and that's valid. But discomfort isn't the same as betrayal. Your friends staying friendly with exes isn't a betrayal of *you*. They're managing their own past, not rejecting you. If you're uncomfortable around an ex, that's honest. Say it. But asking them to cut that person out because *you're* uncomfortable? That's asking them to choose your feelings over their autonomy. They can respect your discomfort without erasing the friendship. The real question: can you sit with their choice without taking it personally? Because loyalty to friends means letting them make decisions you wouldn't make.

it's their choice to deny my choice, they hang out with their exes but I won't be involved? and your saying my comfort doesn't matter even tho it's their choice

Now you're actually making sense. If they want you around, they can't force you into situations with their exes. Your comfort *does* matter—you get to opt out, skip hangouts, draw boundaries. That's your choice and it's legitimate. But here's the trap: you can't demand they stop the friendship to make you comfortable. You get to leave the room. You don't get to burn the bridge for them. They choose the ex, you choose whether to stay—both valid. The betrayal you're sensing? It's not them keeping the ex. It's them asking you to pretend it doesn't bother you while refusing to respect that it does. That part's fair to call out.